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*Disclaimer: If you’re already preparing to tell me that you grew up playing with Barbies and have had no issues whatsoever with body image, please read the full post with an open mind and try to hear me out. This isn’t a post of judgement, it’s a call to prayerfully consider God’s heart on the subject. I grew up with Barbies, too, and I actually remember thinking that someday I would be “beautiful” like them. I am all grown up and I am far from having a figure like that! I believe that feminine and innocent “dress-up” is much, much healthier for the shaping of a little girl’s heart.
Pumpkin in her “princess dress”
Our four-year-old, Pumpkin, loves to dress-up. She is so enthusiastic that she already has our not-quite-ten-month-old, Babykins, trying to do it! We keep a big stash of dress-up items available, but we are very careful of what we include. Most of it would be considered to be very feminine, and none of it would be considered “sexy”. It breaks my heart to see girls my daughter’s age with words across their rear ends, bikinis and clothes that are cut for seduction. We don’t allow Barbie or any other physically over-developed “dolls” in the house. All dolls are “baby” dolls that encourage nurturing and innocent play, rather than encouraging unhealthy physical ideals with the unrealistically “perfect” body of a Barbie. We also don’t allow any kid’s movies with a scantily clad female (The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and other “classics” included). We actually do only a very few carefully selected movies, anyway, but less-than-clothed girls are sure to get a movie tossed out of our house. 
She spent all day at the zoo sporting this hairstyle!
Lest this sound like a house of cold, hard rules, let me explain. Anything we allow into our house and expose our children to is seen by them as something that has our approval. How can we hope to raise modest and pure young ladies in a house full of Barbies and half-naked “heroines”?? The girls will identify with and try to emulate any characters and dolls they regularly watch or play with. They will quickly become desensitized to partial nudity of their favorite toys and characters. When their little bodies grow-up and they mature, they will expect and desire to dress like their “heroines”. When their own parents have encouraged their idolization of sexually-themed females, why wouldn’t they want to become a sex symbol?? It’s already been approved and sanctioned by their parents for toys, movies, TV and magazines in their home, so why not them, too??
Instead, why not encourage our girls to be little ladies? We are not a “skirt-wearing” family, but my girls often wear skirts and dresses. They have plenty of shear scarves that they wear as veils, capes, shawls and even baby carriers! Our older daughter has aprons, necklaces, clippies, hats, a tu-tu, purses and even a stunning “princess dress” that her granny made for her! Frilly, feminine, modest and beautiful- can’t you just see the glowing little ladies, now?! As they get older, we’ll change some things, add others… we’ll adapt to their ages and personalities. We’ll remind them often that their beautiful lady-like hearts are the most important thing. It’s fun to feel pretty, but let’s all make sure to teach our sweet little ladies that “pretty” and “sensual” aren’t the same thing.
Linked-up at:
- A Wise Woman Builds Her House
- Our Simple Country Life: Hearts4Home
- Rediscovering Domesticity: Thrive @ Home
- Intentional Me: Thought-Provoking Thursday
- Passionate and Creative Homemaking
- Christian Mommy Blogger: Fellowship Friday
- Finding Beauty: Feminine Friday
- Beholding Glory: Faith Filled Friday
- Loving Our Journey: Faithfully Parenting Friday
- Womanhood With Purpose
- The Better Mom
- Deep Roots at Home: Encourage One Another
- Women Living Well
- Marcy INK: Heart+Home
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I hate clothing with words on the rear end – what is the purpose of that other than to get people to look at your behind?
Great post, Justyn. You’re raising two girls who are going to be lovely young ladies.
Aww, thank, Stacy!! We were living in North Dallas when the words on the rear became popular. Seeing young girls with “hot stuff”, “sexy” and similar expressions was so sad. We see it around here (Dayton, OH), too, but not as much.
We are very particular shootout dress up clothes, as well. We had managed to keep Barbies our of our house for some time, as well. Partly because of modestly and body image issues, and partly because we just don’t but into commercialism very much. We have them now because a well intentioned but out of touch family member gave them to our girls as gifts unexpectedly. In the realm of choosing battles, for us, this one would have caused more familial damage than it would have prevented. We have used the dolls as am inroad into talking about modesty and body image. And some clothes that are inappropriate have simply gotten “lost” The dolls are not played with every day (they’ve recently been snubbed for ponies quite a bit), and when they are, we often talk about how “creepy” (their word) the dolls look with the body proportions they have (my words lol). So for us they have actually turned our to be a natural tool for teaching modesty and body image. But, every home is different; kudos to you for doing what is right for yours!
That’s great that you’ve been able to use them as a platform for discussion. They really are “creepy”! LOL!
We have a standing rule for any gifts we deem inappropriate. We graciously say thank you, then we return them to the store for something better.
We occasionally mention this to our older daughter before birthday’s and Christmases, so that she isn’t taken by surprise and she is perfectly fine with it. The excitement of having a say it what they will get out-ways the disappointment of returning something. 
We also use it as a platform for explaining what is and isn’t appropriate, which helps her to understand that we aren’t being mean, we’re taking care of her.
Thanks so much for the comment, Heather!
Amen! I should probably start getting dress up clothes for Natalia. I plan on making her a princess dress for Christmas
. She LOVES pretty things, and yesterday asked repeatedly for “bow” until all the bows were used.
Fun!! I can’t wait to see the pictures of Natalia in her new dress!!
Hi Justyn! I totally agree! We’re trying to emphasize similar values in our home as well. Our only issue is with the movies, we have two boys and then a girl and we have lots of “boy” movies which does include Aladdin which the boys love. Aladdin includes a scantily clad female character. Hmm, we will have to check through our movies more closely and consider weeding out some we don’t fully approve of. Thanks!
LOL! We have weeded out the movies sooooo many times! Once we went through for “positive female image” or any sexual innuendos, which cut down the movies to half, then a few months later we noticed some very negative things about the parent/child relationships (mostly disobedience being glorified and parents being portrayed as “stupid”). Another bunch of movies left. It’s a work in progress, but we’re mostly down to Veggietales and some fabulous real-life movies (animals and nature, herbal remedies, homesteading, pregnancy and birth, travel, etc.) and she is just as happy as before. In fact, her attitude improved VERY quickly! We were shocked! We’ve really enjoyed the real-life ones as a family, too (minus the baby), and Kevin and I have learned a lot from them, too!
Hi Justyn, email me when you get the chance, I always get excited when I find bloggers in Ohio, especially out my back door!
When I worked at a preschool, once a year I invited all the 3-5 yr olds up to my house for a princess party. We did all sorts of fun games, but the most important to me was the circle time where we talked about what makes a girl a princess. And it wasn’t pretty clothes, much to their dismay!
I found you at Womanhood with Purpose
How exciting! I think you’re the only blogger I know who lives in Ohio, too! I’ll try to shoot you an e-mail in the next few days. Thanks so much for commenting!
I grew up playing with Barbies, but I had the Heart Family. I had a mom, dad, kids and grandparents. I wish I still had them, because I would allow my daughter to play with those… Thanks for linking up with Thrive @ Home!
I had never heard of those, so I had to look them up. They look much better than the mainstream Barbies. Too bad the company didn’t go that route instead of the way they ended up.
Thanks for hosting the link-up, Jenni!
The one that makes me sad is the girls dressing like sexual objects, my mom always made a good point that we all eventually had to live in the world so even though she shielded us alot from lights and etc
The one that makes me sad is the girls dressing like sexual objects, my mom always made a good point that we all eventually had to live in the world so even though she shielded us alot from movies and etc she used those things that weren’t good to start discussions about what is and isn’t right. . . Which helped us to neuter understand it I think. . I well say that my girls own two piece swimsuits but only because diapers are dop much easier that way and they are not bikini style
I actually love two piece swimsuits! We can find much more modest two-pieces than one pieces. Mine has a skirt attached and the top is long and a little looser than a one piece, and my four-year-old’s is a two-piece made of a tee shirt and shorts (you can see it in my Frugal Fun post). Love them!
Thanks so much for the comment, Stephie!
Like your mom, we take the opportunities to explain what is going on and why. Being aware of sin and taking part in sinful things are completely different, so it sounds like your mom did a great job!
Good points here….nothing wrong with a little sparkly to feel pretty, but I feel our lil girls today never need to purposely draw attention to themselves with drastic outfits…your daughter looks so happy with herself here, and that is what matters….thanks for link up
Blessings!
Thanks, Michy! And thanks for hosting the link-up!
Oh my, what a precious, precious child. It blesses me to see mommas careful about their daughter’s attire from a young age. It makes it so much easier when they are in their teen years. Not compromising our principles weeded out many titles. Many times when we were visiting others my daughter would come out and sit beside me whispering, “I don’t think you want me to watch that.”
Thank you so much for the encouraging comment, Pamela! It’s wonderful to hear that your daughter has learned to be discerning.
You make some valid points… You making me rethink what I was confident about… good job!